23/03/2024
This is written by a good friend of mine and the words resonate so well to me.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/Ed5Z6Dqrvpr596rF/?mibextid=oFDknk
🖤 Honoured to have been asked to write this article for BeKeane Healthy and Fit as we celebrate 2024 Neurodiversity Week.
𝑷𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒕. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.
𝑰𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓. 𝑰𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌, 𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.
𝑽𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅, 𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎. 𝑫𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔, 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆. 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒕, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒚. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒔𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒐. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏. 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒚. 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏. 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒍𝒍 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔. 𝑰𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅-𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅. 𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐 – 𝒐𝒏𝒆’𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝑨𝑴, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏’𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔. 𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔.
These scenarios may not seem a big deal for the typical person, but they can cause unbearable pain for my autistic son. They are not 2-minute reflections that can be forgotten about, and it’s not a matter of moving on with the day like nothing has happened.
They can be extremely debilitating, draining and affect his ability to function and think about anything else.
I talk about them because it does interfere with his everyday life, and not everyone understands the true impact it can have on an autistic person and how they function afterwards.
But as we’ve learnt over the years, it’s a matter of changing and adapting to the supports he requires, and always remaining positive and calm for him when those situations arise.
Whilst we navigate the chaos of the world, and confusion inside his precious brain, he sure does continue to amaze us with the incredible way he sees the world. He’s taught us that the small things in life are actually the big things. He’s shown us the joy you can find in unexpected places. He’s proven that kindness costs nothing but can literally change someone’s entire day, and to of course honour all our feelings, no matter how big or small.
We let him show us his intensely focused passions and love interests, and we use those as a focus for connection and appreciation. From the soothing hum of air conditioners to the click of TV remotes, the thunderous applause of hand dryers, the motion of vacuum cleaners, the rhythm of traffic lights, and now the captivating world of DVD players – each fascination taking us on a unique journey showcasing his incredible and unique way of doing things.
As his mother and biggest supporter, I will always advocate for him and promote kindness, inclusion and acceptance for all. By sharing his brilliant mind, soul and story, my goal is to show others the beauty in being different. It’s how we break down barriers, create a kinder world and enrich the experiences for everyone, regardless of differences.
And as I continue to share the struggles, the differences, the special interests, the meltdowns and the fight for inclusion and acceptance for my son and the whole neurodivergent community…. can I ask, will you be willing to do this too?
Will you recognise that being different is simply a difference, but by no means less?
Will you shine a light on the talents and abilities of our neurodivergent children, so people can truly understand how amazing they are?
Will you spark conversations around ‘out of the box’ thinking, so their roles in society are valued just like everyone else?
Will you acknowledge that we should all express ourselves freely and unapologetically?
And will you always show kindness, no matter our differences or the paths we’ve walked?
With support and unity, we are then able to move towards inclusivity and understanding for all.
We need every voice to be heard, every story to be valued, and every dream to be realised.
That’s how we truly make the world a better place.
Julia Ryan
William Ready
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