07/05/2019
When I was around 13, I remember wanting to matter. Among the fights at home and the loneliness I felt, I just wanted to mean something.
Friends, made me feel that way.
I was normal teenage girl, who wanted friends and so I began hanging out with more people, and soon enough, everyone began to know me.
It was then that I realised how unfortunate this decision was. With all the new found love, came new found hate. I used to be on ask.fm at the time, when it was all the rage. I got about 80 questions a day, with tons of love ones, but tons of hate.
The hate messages were rather personal, which meant it came from someone I once trusted. This person then began to send all my friends messages, abusing me, my family, and everything that mattered to me. I felt trapped, and so much pain with all the words I read. Almost every question made me believe what was written, and those beliefs reflect in how I feel now. I was called fat, a slut, desperate, a fake bitch. I was called those things because of what I wore or for the people I knew. I was made fun of for my body, and my makeup. I was ripped apart for the fact that I had depression, and was then self harming. This person did not only attack me, but made all of these things public for every one I knew to see.
It’s been 7 years, but people still remember that. I, still remember that. As I grew older, I realised that it wasn’t that big a deal, and I figured out to handle bullying. I knew how to handle the tags put against me and found ways to deal with them so they wouldn’t hurt me. Sure, some of the words scarred me, and still do hurt me till this day. But I got if of that bullying, and so can you. You just have to believe in yourself and know that words do not define you. And whenever you feel like they do, remember how you define yourself and let that overrule you.
