08/17/2026
My Pivot Year: A Memoir
Chapter 7: The Voice in My Head
I came to Guatemala expecting peace.
Every morning, I woke up to the breathtaking beauty of Lake Atitlán. Surrounded by mountains, colorful villages, and sunsets that seemed to melt into the water, it felt like exactly where I was supposed to be.
I spent my days walking into town for fresh juices, food, and conversations with locals. Life moved at a slower pace, and for the first time in a long time, I had space to simply be.
On the outside, everything was peaceful.
Inside, something else was beginning.
The friend I had traveled to meet became sick and eventually decided to head home earlier than planned.
What surprised me wasn’t that she left.
It was the story my mind immediately created.
She doesn’t want to be around you.
You disappointed her.
She probably doesn’t even like you.
The thoughts came so quickly and felt so believable that I never stopped to question them.
As the days passed, the negative self talk became harder to ignore.
It wasn’t overwhelming yet.
It was just…there.
Quietly questioning my worth.
Quietly convincing me I wasn’t enough.
I brushed it off, assuming it was simply part of the stress of starting over.
I didn’t know it then, but I wasn’t hearing a new voice.
I was only just beginning to hear one that had been with me for years.
💜
