08/13/2024
As the guarantee of my life is closer to death than it is to new life, as the average male lifespan is just over 70, and we all know my health is not the best. I’ve suffered with Respiratory and Dermatology issues for my entirety, which are both huge parts of a healthy life, it’s good to start focusing on what I am.
I’ve wallowed in the question and made little advancements many times, so this will change. But something I’ve been sketching in my head to put on my phone is.
“I’m not Everything
but I AM
(Insert QR)
For Community!
Spouse,
Heal-ing,
Curious,
Networker.
Sure a person can’t be summarized in but a few words, but many times we do let a few words or moments defy us, I want to be known more for how I helped people, how I help people get out the hopelessness that I spent much of my life in. How although I knew Christ I do NOT let the light shine past the darkness. I have spent so much time afraid of repeat abandonment, instead I should be focusing on being there for more; so when I do get abandoned, it’s not my whole world.
I’ve spent alot my heart in a broken codependent mind, and afraid of the next person leaving, that at times I probably self sabotage it.
Something literally just this week I realized, is I have a fear of quitting, I’ve got so many nearly finished (or nearly began) projects and one thing I’ve learned all that weight has clogged my brain and not allow me to remember people’s names like I use to, I don’t want to ponder the glory days of when I was a great networker and able to help people connect, that’s where I found my most joy. That’s where I want to return. I’m excited that I have a meeting with one of the first people I met that inspired me in Gwinnett. We are having a conversation at 10 to see if I will be a good mentee.
I want to start letting go more, letting go of projects and setting up systems to help detox life.
I had meant to spend more time on writing this, but breakfast with wife and now off to work. Guess waking up at 5 is sleeping in.
Who else has too much on their plate that they know doesn’t matter?