Jyl Barlow

05/07/2025

This is a tricky week for stepmothers as Mother’s Day often kicks off endless thought patterns, many of which are not helpful.
This happens whether or not we have our own biological children.

I wanted to offer some words of wisdom as I am over a decade into my journey as a stepmother (and have written a couple of humor-based books on the topic).

You ARE important.
You DO play the role of “mother.”
You DESERVE to be recognized.

You deserve to be recognized, but Mother’s Day may not be that moment.

Step outside of your brain and into the brain of your stepchild.

For our stepchildren, Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year.
They feel pulled between two mothers, sure that one or both of them will be pi**ed because there is no way to make them both happy.
There is a split loyalty, which causes anxiety to spike in the days leading up to Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day is a tightrope for our stepchildren that hangs over a lake filled with flaming alligators.

It is our job, as stepmothers, to take a step back.
Does it suck? Of course.
Don’t we always feel like we have to take a step back?
Yes.

Our ability to step back and take that “second” spot, the less important one, is part of what makes us unique.
Giving our stepchildren permission to focus on their biological mothers on Mother’s Day is what makes us special.

Do not spend this week focusing on what will satisfy you as a stepmother—you will never succeed.

You deserve to be recognized, but Mother’s Day may not be that moment.
Take a step back. Release that day from your emotional radar.
Create your own moment. Ask your stepkids to help you create that moment.

Yes, the Sunday after Mother’s Day is unofficially earmarked for Stepmothers.
If that works for you, fantastic. Just remember that celebrating two mothers, two weekends in a row, can leave our stepkids exhausted.
This is not personal, this is stress enveloping a tiny brain that has no understanding of why it feels…off.

Create your own moment. You deserve it.

But start by stepping outside your own thoughts and emotions and into your stepchild’s.

05/06/2025

Stepmother’s Day is just around the corner and books are THE PERFECT GIFT!!

Why?

Hilarity. Lore. Feeling seen. Knowing your life is my life…

Order today (Amazon) and you’ll have plenty of time to find the wrapping paper that’s hidden somewhere in your home.

05/05/2025

We spend so much of our lives trying to prove something...

It can be really freeing...when you stop playing the prove-it game.

A must read:

https://jylbarlow.com/2025/05/05/the-prove-it-game/

(Second)Wife, (Step)Mom, Writer, Humorist, and Future Olympian (Sport yet to be determined, taking suggestions)

05/04/2025

When I was a new wife and stepmother, a ten-year anniversary seemed so far away and on the other side of a mountain I wasn’t even sure I wanted to climb.

We joke that we’ve packed 72 years of marriage into our first ten but it’s probably more true than not.

Being part of a blended family has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Because I have endured this, I know without question that I can endure anything.

I believe in the blended family.

I have always believed in it - especially ours, even when it seemed we were never going to find success.

Ten years.

I’m proud, amazed, exhausted, and so in love with this man who has stood by my side, wiped my tears, and allowed me to crumble before lifting me right back up.

Ten years! We have done SO much!

04/30/2025

Book Math explained.

In a world where readers typically buy books online (whether paperback or digital) and entry into brick & mortar bookstores is controlled by publishing houses, YOUR review matters.

This is why authors are constantly putting their titles in front of our followers when we’d rather be writing.

Every sale matters, but every review matters even more.

If you’ve read any book at all - take the time to review it. It doesn’t have to be a long review or a rave review - but review it.

For those who have reviewed any of my books, thank you. For those who have read but not reviewed yet - check out the book math and head on over to Amazon write a few words before you do your shopping.

I’d appreciate it so much!!

04/29/2025

And...we're back!

Did you have a feral childhood?

After a few months off (because...reasons), Whine & Wine is back with a brand new podcast that asks some very deep questions!

For instance:

>> Were you even a child of the 70's if you didn't return home from a long day with a tooth in your pocket?
>> What type of sammich did your mom pack for you when you told her you were running away from home?

Listen along as we talk about our feral childhoods and why they shaped us into the amazing people that stand before you today. Click the link in my stories to hear more!

Tune into a new episode of Whine & Wine on your favorite podcast feed today and click the follow button to be among the first to hear new episodes!

Did you have a feral childhood? Tell us all about it!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1is6h7l3V1iw747aQaDrxG?si=-sjZui8hS4mcFpHAkJsGhA

Mentions:
@ Hotel Richmond

04/28/2025

An Earth Day Idea:

If the cruise industry could harness my husband's non-odorless gas, I've no doubt we'd sail for free.

An Earth Day Idea: If the cruise industry could harness my husband’s non-odorless gas, I’ve no doubt we’d sail for free.

04/26/2025

Perhaps the most common phrase of all for both moms AND stepmoms.

We do hurt. All the time.

Yet, we carry on.

If you’ve not read my story yet, grab one of my books and get started.

Why?

Because we are so much alike.

04/25/2025

Stepmoms… pssssssst.

Mother’s Day is just around the corner.

NOW is when we book ourselves a hotel room to retreat to for a day of ME!

Packing list: Comfy PJs, slippers, snacks galore, a bottle of wine, trash magazines, a good book or two, bubble bath, and… well, that’s really it!

Change the story. Mother’s Day isn’t something to dread, stepmoms - it’s the answer to our “Calgon, take me away” prayers.

We got this!

04/21/2025

Before mothers across America slam their laptops shut lest their darling children see this epic wedding pro-tip, hear me out.

Get Married Ahead of Time.

As we approach the tenth anniversary of our 2015 nuptials, I’m reminded of the single most important thing we did when it came to preparing for our wedding. And, as I hear from many of my friends o…

04/16/2025

Go move mountains, step-momma.

You are amazing.

You are amazing even when you aren’t feeling so amazing.

***

Have you picked up Sparent yet? Grab your copy and settle in for stories from MY life as a stepmom.

Oh, yeah - it’s still being written. Make sure you follow me on Amazon and Kindle so you’ll know when the next book is published.

Because I’m too busy being amazing to remember to market myself. 🤷🏼‍♀️

04/14/2025

The Solitude of Mourning: Where is everyone?

They are right there.

All you have to do is look for the ones who show up.

The Solitude of Mourning: Where is everyone? They are right there. All you have to do is look for the ones who show up.