Mammons

01/28/2019

Mammon’s is thrilled to announce their new music festival Extinguished Fest! We will be hosting it on Hart Island in NYC in 2 weeks. We bought the island, and mass graveyards for $1 due to a loophole in the government shutdown! Stay tuned for the artists lineup and premium cabana mansion tickets!

05/19/2016

Some of our Elite Card Members hanging out in the Penthouse before our TriBeCa Fox Hunt on Vespas! If you want to have life, get the Mammons Card!

05/19/2016

Mammons has joined forces with the ultra cool elite Upper East Siders, headed by national treasure Woody Allen, to end bi ke lanes! We don't need poor crusty hipsters getting in the way of opening our car doors without looking first!

"Most of us who live there worked long and hard to acquire the property that we now live in, and to have this come and create traffic jams and horns blowing is just a terrible thing."

02/10/2016

Mammons is moving into its new headquarters in the Cloisters. Its time to take over the world with elitism, with sexiness, and with an exclusive MammonsCard. Millennials can join us at the ribbon cutting, hosted by our Patron, Roosh, from progressive news media juggernaut, Return of Kings!!!!!!

11/28/2015

Hey influential millennials, get your hands on the most stylish, elite, and impossible to get your hands on hoodie at the MammonsCard loft space. Also available in white!

11/10/2015

Proof that Greatness recognizes Greatness. We at Mammons know, not unlike modern renaissance man Shia LaBeouf, that we are greatness. We are elite, we are millennials, we are greatness. We are Mammonscard Members. We are not Magnises!

Shia Labeouf Movie Marathon hosted by Mammons.

And for the next 3 days. You can join him, for free.

11/10/2015

We at Mammons are very concerned about alcohol abuse. We made a short video about the consequences of substance abuse... Please watch. If you have a friend who is suffering from this, send them to rehab and pay for it with your MammonsCard where you get double points for charging rehab to your card!

The brunch struggle is real. If you live in Williamsburg or basically anywhere in Brooklyn, you know the feeling. Watch more: http://thebedfordstop.com Follo...

10/22/2015

Chief executive officer of bio-tech company Retrophin LLC and current "Media It Boy", Martin Shkreli is going to be at the MammonsCard Loft Space giving MammonsCard Elite Millennial Members tips on how to sculpt the perfect eyebrows. Bring your own thread and wax!

10/20/2015

Announcing a new feature for MammonsCard Elite Millennial Members: Introducing our Retainer-As-You-Go plan for Mammons Members who are on Men's College Lacrosse Teams. For every dollar you spend, a matching dollar is put in an account for a legal team to defend you at court after next weekend's team house party!

10/20/2015

HUMAN OF MAMMONS

BECKY
"It's been a rough couple years. Just cause my family made their money off guns, pharmaceuticals, and clothing made in Southeast Asia doesn't mean I should be judged for spending it!"

10/17/2015

MammonsCard Elite member and business ethics hero Roger Goodell is hosting a talk at the Loft Space on how to run an ethical business that makes money and looks out for its own people! Sponsored by Volkswagen Emission Systems, only $238 for card members!

Deflategate and the Ray Rice situation were awful. But revenue is up, ratings are through the roof and concussions are down. Doesn't Goodell deserve credit for that?

10/16/2015

OMG! Check out the dog-ass ugly partners of these totally hott celebs! Be Elite, be a MammonsCard Member, don't fall in to the trap RiRi did.