06/14/2026
Saving the city from gas prices. lol. Trump Pennsylvania Corruption
In a bold new step toward modernizing law enforcement at approximately eight miles per hour, Pennsylvania State Police have announced plans to begin enlisting horse-drawn troopers across Lancaster County. Officials say the new patrol buggies will technically be capable of traffic stops, although for the safety and comfort of the horse, pursuits will be limited to βcasual clip-clop speedβ and immediately canceled if the suspect takes a hill too aggressively, turns on a busy road, or passes a roadside produce stand with apples. The program is expected to be most effective against drivers already pulled over, tractors moving at parade speed, and anyone willing to wait while the trooper finds a safe place to turn around.
