09/03/2026
Port Royal outlaws all pumpkin spice products until October 1, 2026. ๐
๐จ GENERAL ORDER 26-PSL-01 HAS BEEN ISSUED ๐จ
Chief Meyers has determined thatโdespite what coffee shops, craft stores and certain unnamed members of this department may believeโpumpkin spice season does not officially begin until October 1.
Since the announcement, administration has reportedly received multiple requests for reconsideration, several dramatic sighs and what can only be described as organized grumbling near the coffee station.
All objections have been noted and denied.
Until the order expires, pumpkin spice lattes, creamers, cold foam, candles and premature declarations that โfall is hereโ remain strictly prohibited.
Employees are reminded that attempting to disguise a pumpkin spice latte inside an unmarked cup will be treated as an aggravating circumstance. The public is also asked not to aid or abet staff members by delivering unauthorized seasonal beverages. ๐
This General Order is issued in the spirit of community engagement and is, of course, just for funโalthough the staff grumbling may be very real.
