After Everything

After Everything A space for women over 50 navigating life after divorce to heal through the pain with intention.

Start with the free HELD Grounding Practice — a 5-minute tool designed to bring your nervous system home.
👉 https://therizegirl.com/somatic-practice

Ten years ago I would not have believed this life was possible for me.I was surviving. Managing. Holding things together...
07/23/2026

Ten years ago I would not have believed this life was possible for me.

I was surviving. Managing. Holding things together that were quietly falling apart and calling it faithfulness.

I couldn’t have imagined what was coming. The healing. The women I’d get to walk alongside. The version of myself that was waiting on the other side of the hardest season of my life.

And I couldn’t have imagined the beautiful things happening in my life right now. Things I couldn’t have dreamed for myself in those hard years.

I’m telling you this because if you’re in the hard part, the part that feels endless.

Listen when I say:
It ends. And what comes after is worth every hard day it took to get there.

Five signs your healing is actually working — even when it doesn’t feel like it.1. You’re noticing what you feel instead...
07/06/2026

Five signs your healing is actually working — even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1. You’re noticing what you feel instead of just managing it.
2. Your boundaries are getting clearer. Not perfect. Just clearer.
3. You’re getting more honest — with yourself first, then with others.
4. The hard days don’t destroy you the way they used to.
5. You’re making choices for yourself. Not for the role. For you.
Save this for the days you need proof you’re moving.

And take the free HELD Identity Assessment to see where you are. Link in first comment.

I’ve been in a season of a lot of change.Some of it has been beautiful and some of it has been hard and truly tested me ...
07/03/2026

I’ve been in a season of a lot of change.

Some of it has been beautiful and some of it has been hard and truly tested me and not surprisingly most of it both at the same time.

I’m learning to hold joy and grief in the same hands without dropping either one. To let something be good without bracing for it to be taken away.

That last one is the hardest for women like us. We got so good at bracing, at managing. At not being too happy, too hopeful, too open.

I’m unlearning that. Slowly and imperfectly. But I’m unlearning it.

How are you doing? Really. Not the version you tell people. The real one.

I want to redefine rising for a minute.Because I think we’ve been sold a version of it that looks like strength all the ...
07/02/2026

I want to redefine rising for a minute.
Because I think we’ve been sold a version of it that looks like strength all the time. Confidence, clarity and knowing where you’re going.

I hate to break it to you but that’s not rising. That’s performing.

Real rising looks like: choosing yourself on a Thursday afternoon, saying no to something that used to get an automatic yes, or sitting in the quiet without immediately reaching for something to fill it.

It’s mostly invisible. Mostly quiet. And it is more important than the anything any influencer could ever show you.

One day at a time, through every tear and every disappoint, you’re rising. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

06/26/2026

New on Substack this week.

I wrote about the kind of tired that doesn’t have a name yet. Not tired from a long day. The kind that lives in your bones. That’s there when you wake up no matter how much you slept.

And about the relief I felt when my marriage ended and why that relief scared me more than the grief did.

Because relief wasn’t in the script. Grief was in the script. Relief felt like a confession.

But here’s what I know now: that relief was my nervous system finally, after years of hypervigilance, finally exhaling.

If you’ve ever felt something you weren’t supposed to feel after your marriage ended, then this one is for you.

Full post on Substack, link in first comment.

I want to find my people on here.If you are a woman 50 or over who has gone through divorce after a long marriage, 15, 2...
06/24/2026

I want to find my people on here.

If you are a woman 50 or over who has gone through divorce after a long marriage, 15, 20, 25, 30 years, I want to hear from you.

Not your whole story if you’re not ready.

Just drop a heart below so I know you’re here. So you know you’re not alone.

Because that’s the thing about this season nobody prepares you for. You think you’re the only one. You look around at women your age and they seem like they have it together. And you’re in the quiet of your house wondering what’s wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong with you. You’re in the in-between. And there are more of us here than you know.


if you’re here. I see you.

I’ve been sitting with something I wrote a few weeks ago.It’s called “I Didn’t Come Here to Perform Recovery.”I wrote it...
06/22/2026

I’ve been sitting with something I wrote a few weeks ago.
It’s called “I Didn’t Come Here to Perform Recovery.”

I wrote it because I kept seeing the same kind of introduction from coaches and healers online, you know, the one where they hit rock bottom, found themselves, and now they’re here to show you the way.

That’s not my story. My story is messier. There were days I got dressed for work and cried in the parking lot before I walked in.

Days I prayed and felt nothing and kept praying anyway because I didn’t know what else to do. Days I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman looking back.

I wrote the real version. And I put it on Substack where it has room to breathe.

If you’ve been following this page and something keeps pulling you back, then you should go read it. It’s for you.

And After Everything is where I write what captions can’t hold.

Come find me there.

I've been sitting with something I wrote a few weeks ago.It's called "I Didn't Come Here to Perform Recovery."And I wrot...
06/22/2026

I've been sitting with something I wrote a few weeks ago.

It's called "I Didn't Come Here to Perform Recovery."

And I wrote it because I kept seeing the same kind of introduction from coaches and healers online, you know, the one where they hit rock bottom, found themselves, and now they're here to show you the way.

That's not my story. My story is messier. There were days I got dressed for work and cried in the parking lot before I walked in. Days I prayed and felt nothing and kept praying anyway because I didn't know what else to do. Days I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the woman looking back.

I wrote the real version. And I put it on Substack where it has room to breathe.
If you've been following this page and something keeps pulling you back, go read it. It's for you.

And After Everything is where I write what captions can't hold.

Come find me there.

🔗 Link in the first comment. 🤍
— Shirletta

And After Everything is now on Substack.This is where I write about what nobody says out loud. About rebuilding your ide...
05/28/2026

And After Everything is now on Substack.

This is where I write about what nobody says out loud.
About rebuilding your identity after long marriage. About faith in the quiet. About the body that holds everything you haven't said yet.

The first post is up — "I Didn't Come Here to Perform Recovery."

Link in bio. 🤍

— Shirletta

So much of what we do in the aftermath of divorce is trying to minimize what we went through. We qualify it and explain ...
03/01/2026

So much of what we do in the aftermath of divorce is trying to minimize what we went through. We qualify it and explain it. We tell people "it wasn't that bad" or "I'm fine" or "at least..."

But your story has weight. Years. Sacrifice. Identity. Love that was real, even if the marriage ended.

The first step of the HELD Method is Honor Your Story - not to stay there, but to stop pretending it didn't cost you something.

You are allowed to acknowledge what was lost. That is the beginning of healing.

Save this post and share it with a woman who needs to hear it today.

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