06/09/2026
When the Crowd Disappears: Who Will Still Be There?
It’s so important in life to nurture the people around you to love them, support them, check on them, and let them know they matter.
But I’ve also learned that it’s just as important to pay attention to who you are nurturing. Your time, your energy, your love, and your heart are valuable. Make sure the people you pour those things into are people who will also be there when you need them.
And right now, my heart is broken.
Recently, my brother-in-law suffered a stroke. In fact, he has had several strokes, and today he is no longer able to function independently. My husband and I have become the ones caring for him.
I’m not going to go into all the difficult details of what we’re dealing with. Some things are simply too personal and painful to put into words. But I want to share something I’ve learned from watching what is happening to him.
My brother-in-law was an incredibly popular man. He was well known in the community. He had friends everywhere. He had lots of girlfriends. People knew him, people called him, people wanted to be around him.
He was surrounded by people.
Then he had his first stroke.
Something changed.
He became confused. His behavior changed. He would do things that people didn't understand. He would ask for money repeatedly, and people began to pull away from him. Some judged him. Some became frustrated with him.
At the time, people may have thought he was simply behaving badly. But now we understand that much of what we were seeing was the result of his illness and the damage caused by the strokes.
And that has been one of the hardest things for me to witness. Because when he was healthy, he had people everywhere.
Now, where are they? That question has stayed with me.
It has made me think about the people we surround ourselves with and the relationships we spend our lives building.
It’s easy to have friends when everything is good.
It’s easy to laugh together, go to parties, have drinks, make plans, and tell someone, “I’ve got you.”
But you find out who really loves you when life changes.
When you become sick.
When you can no longer give them anything.
When you can no longer entertain them.
When you need someone to pick up the phone.
When you need someone to sit beside you.
When you need someone to pray for you.
That’s when you discover the difference between real people and plastic smiles.
And I’m telling you this because I am witnessing something heartbreaking right now.
This man had so many people around him.
And today, he has almost nobody.
My husband and I are here caring for him, doing what we can, but I can't help thinking about all the people who once surrounded him. His older brother and his wife and sister in law- that's it
Where did they go?
Maybe this is a reminder for all of us.
Nurture your relationships.
Love people while you have them.
Check on your friends.
Check on your family.
And don't wait until someone is sick, broken, or lying in a hospital bed to realize that they mattered.
Because sometimes people don't need money from you.
They don't need you to fix anything.
They just need a phone call.
A kind word.
A visit.
A hand on their shoulder.
A prayer.
Sometimes the smallest act of kindness tells someone, “You are not alone.” Right now, I am witnessing one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever seen.
A man who once had so many people around him is now facing this chapter of his life with almost no one.
And it has reminded me of something I hope I never forget:
Don’t just count the people who are around you when life is good. Pay attention to the people who stay when life goes terribly wrong.
Those are the people worth nurturing. Plastic smiles always fade.
