14/10/2026
⚠️ Warning, this post is a bit heavy ⚠️
👣 It’s Baby Loss Awareness Week 👣 and with that in mind, I wanted to share a bit more of my story, especially for those who are newer connections or followers and might not know about Melody.
I also want to continue to break the silence around what still feels like a taboo subject.
Some of you will know my story, but for those who don’t, it will be 17 years in January since Melody was born asleep at 21 weeks. 💔
This photo was taken in Antigua in October 2009, when I was pregnant with her. Looking at it now brings back so many emotions.
2010 started off as a mega year of holidays for me. Tenerife, Kerala, Marrakech and Vegas, all within the space of four months.
I’d rather not have needed any of those holidays at that time.
I lost Melody in January 2010. In my head, I should have been getting ready to go on maternity leave, and suddenly the future I’d imagined was thrown into chaos. I didn’t know how I was going to face going back to work, and with my head all over the place, my immediate thought was that I needed to get away.
So I booked holidays, hoping they would give me something to focus on and help me find the strength to get through it. Thankfully, my employers were incredibly supportive, and I was in a position to do this.
I still remember the comments along the lines of “Oh, she’s on holiday again” on Facebook. I’d just shrug them off, thinking, if only people knew WHY I was going away so frequently.
I kept going away to escape the pain and distract myself, particularly around dates that would have been far too painful to spend at home.
Only a handful of people knew about my loss. I hadn’t announced my pregnancy on Facebook, so I didn’t feel I could suddenly share why I was heartbroken and seemingly needed to keep running away. ✈️
Travel has always been my therapy, as well as my love. ❤️
Of course, I couldn’t sustain going away every month, but those trips helped me through a time when I honestly didn’t know how to navigate life as it had suddenly become.
And life did carry on. Even when part of my heart was missing.
Then came my two rainbows, Jackson and Jesse. 🌈🌈
I will never stop being grateful for them, but one love doesn’t replace another. Melody will always be their big angel sister, and she will always be part of our family. ❤️
For the first 10 years after losing Melody, I kept my loss quiet. Then, around the 10-year mark, I had an M tattooed on my wrist for her. It was my way of acknowledging her, even if I still didn’t talk openly about my loss.
Earlier this year, 16 years after losing her, I decided it was time to add to that tattoo, spelling out Melody’s full name and adding my two rainbows. Three children, all forever connected in my heart. ❤️
This is NOT a post for sympathy. It’s a post to raise awareness and help break the stigma around baby loss.
I’m all too aware that social media only shows what we choose to share. In the main, you’ll see me sharing happy moments, holidays and the business I love. It can look like life is all rosy when that isn’t necessarily the case.
You never really know what someone is going through behind the scenes.
If you’ve experienced baby loss, whether recently or many years ago, sending you the biggest virtual ((hugs)). 🤗
You never have to forget your baby, and you should never feel you have to keep their story or your grief to yourself. ❤️
