09/02/2026
“THE GREAT BILLY HUNT & OTHER FAIRYTALES” ✨
Well, well, well…
It appears the Night Shift of the New Dawn Can't Sleep I'm making up stories on where dogs have gone again Union has clocked in again, armed with their usual supplies:
1 (one) magnifying glass
2 (two) brain cells
And a family‑sized bucket of misplaced confidence
Honestly, at this point I’m convinced they’re running on a strict diet of Red Bull, rage, and recycled Facebook screenshots.
Let’s recap the situation, shall we?
📌 Chapter 1: “WHERE’S BILLY?” A Mystery Nobody Asked For
According to the Gang of Keyboard players, Billy has apparently vanished into the abyss, possibly abducted by aliens, or maybe he’s just… working?
You know, doing that wild, thing claiming benefits.
But no in the New Dawn universe, if Billy doesn’t respond within 0.3 seconds, then New Dawn has to tag him to back them up, you can almost hear the screeeching now down the street BBBBIIIIILLLLLLLYYYYYYYY specially for fish wife lovers everywhere he must be hiding in a bunker with two dogs, a fake passport, and a suitcase full of ND-branded hush money.
📌 Chapter 2: The Proof‑of‑Life Demands
The Gang:
“WHERE ARE THE DOGS? SHOW US PHOTOS! VIDEOS! GPS COORDINATES! A LIVE STREAM! A SIGNED AFFIDAVIT FROM THE DOGS THEMSELVES!”
Billy:
“I’m literally working with dogs right now.”
The Gang:
“Suspicious.”
Honestly, if Billy posted a selfie holding today’s newspaper with a dog licking his ear, they’d still zoom in, circle a pixel, and declare it “evidence of deception.” but BBBBBIIIIIILLLLLLYYYYYY can't because he doesn't have the dogs anymore.
📌 Chapter 3: The Transparency Olympics New Dawn:
“We’ve invited them to meet us multiple times.”
The Gang:
“No you didn’t.”
New Dawn:
“We literally did.”
The Gang:
“FAKE NEWS.”
At this point, New Dawn could livestream the entire rescue centre 24/7 like Big Brother and they’d still claim the dogs were CGI.
📌 Chapter 4: The Lunatic Hour Continues
The Gang has now entered the phase of their nightly ritual where they post the same paragraph 47 times, each time with slightly more dramatic punctuation.
Don't forget the INSULTS BBBIIIILLLLLYYYYY
BUT
because we are New Dawn we can't answer, simples, We don't care, We have washed our hands off the dogs, we are gangsta loool
We spend our donations on ourselves, and we hope the people donating don't notice.
