05/05/2020
05/05/2019
This was the worst day of my life,I never ever had so many scans and X-rays in whole my life, and poor baby was going through it at the age of 1 year 2 months ๐ญI had to wear a lead gown to be able to stay with him in the room and had to wrap him up and leave him crying while he went through a huge machine, they came back in the afternoon to give the results of the scan, I remember every single word from the surgeon ๐ฉโโ๏ธ I was on the phone with my friend Melania and she also heard it all...the surgeon asked me if she could speak in front of Harper and I said โyes of course, he doesnโt understand anyway...โ, she started saying that they have found a mass attached to his bowel and that from the scans, because of him being so skinny they donโt know what might be, I was listening but I did not get it at first, so my husband said:โcould it be cancer?โ And the surgeon said Yes ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ I fall on the floor started to cry I didnโt understand anything after that, the surgeon took Harper out of the room, as she said that he could feel my emotions and it was not good, so I had to quickly put myself back together for him ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ my friend was still on the videocall and as a great friend, she responded that I donโt have to worry she will inform everyone and will be with me as soon as she could ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐
They straight away organised for us to be transferred at the kings College Hospital ๐ฅ where they are specialised on treating kids with cancer, was the first time for me to go into an ambulance ๐ and I wasnโt there, I kept on thinking why God would do something like this to me? My mum passed away of breast cancer at the age of 35 and now my son? I thought about killing myself if something would have gone wrong, my mum was there looking after us, we had her picture frame with us all the time, we arrived in a place where only I could see were kids and babies with serious defections or due to surgeries, a fu***ng nightmare ๐ญ no kids should go through bad things no kids should suffer before they can even understand whatโs going on!!!
I kept on saying to myself, no crying in front of him, no worries looks, act like we are on vacation!!! Thatโs what I did ๐๐ฝ @ King's College Hospital