05/05/2020
05/05/2019
This was the worst day of my life,I never ever had so many scans and X-rays in whole my life, and poor baby was going through it at the age of 1 year 2 months πI had to wear a lead gown to be able to stay with him in the room and had to wrap him up and leave him crying while he went through a huge machine, they came back in the afternoon to give the results of the scan, I remember every single word from the surgeon π©ββοΈ I was on the phone with my friend Melania and she also heard it all...the surgeon asked me if she could speak in front of Harper and I said βyes of course, he doesnβt understand anyway...β, she started saying that they have found a mass attached to his bowel and that from the scans, because of him being so skinny they donβt know what might be, I was listening but I did not get it at first, so my husband said:βcould it be cancer?β And the surgeon said Yes πππ I fall on the floor started to cry I didnβt understand anything after that, the surgeon took Harper out of the room, as she said that he could feel my emotions and it was not good, so I had to quickly put myself back together for him ππ½ππ½ my friend was still on the videocall and as a great friend, she responded that I donβt have to worry she will inform everyone and will be with me as soon as she could ππ½ππ½π
They straight away organised for us to be transferred at the kings College Hospital π₯ where they are specialised on treating kids with cancer, was the first time for me to go into an ambulance π and I wasnβt there, I kept on thinking why God would do something like this to me? My mum passed away of breast cancer at the age of 35 and now my son? I thought about killing myself if something would have gone wrong, my mum was there looking after us, we had her picture frame with us all the time, we arrived in a place where only I could see were kids and babies with serious defections or due to surgeries, a fu***ng nightmare π no kids should go through bad things no kids should suffer before they can even understand whatβs going on!!!
I kept on saying to myself, no crying in front of him, no worries looks, act like we are on vacation!!! Thatβs what I did ππ½ @ King's College Hospital