09/08/2023
I once flew this low-cost airline that I shall not say here for security reasons ndio nisichome. Let me tell you King'añg'i! I have experienced the epitome of third-class existence. It felt like sitting on that front middle matatu seat next to the driver that was invented in hell!
First off, on this plane, they don't give you food and not just that, even the most life essential thing like water hawapeani! Jameni!
Secondly, there is no legroom, and you know how we men like sitting with one leg here and the other in Shakahola. Don't judge us harshly; we do it for a reason. See, being a man, certain predispositions come with that being a man, and one of those peculiarities is the sporadic rise of something known as a b***r.
Sometimes it happens in the least expected places. It can occur in a church, a mosque, a boardroom, a classroom, or a courtroom.That thing is not a respecter of men and places. Regrettably, on this particular flight, concealing a b***r is impossible.You are crammed together so tightly that there is no room for the slightest leg wiggle, an essential maneuver for disguising the elusive phenomenon of a b***r.
I did physics in high school, and my teacher, Mr. Pascal, imparted a rule for determining electric current, whimsically known as the "rule of the thumb." Interestingly enough, a b***r adheres to a similar principle—it stubbornly refuses to sway sideways, insisting on ascending upwards. Have you ever observed men occasionally shaking their legs sideways? Whether inside a matatu, sitting on a sofa, or elsewhere, we often use this rhythmic motion to quell an uprising.
K**a umewaikunywa uji moto, you understand what I mean. You gently shake the calabash or the bowl or whatever container you are drinking the porridge from to reduce the heat before taking a gulp. Now, dealing with an untimely b***r works the same way. You keep shaking them legs to bring down the heat, and it works, by the way. The people in my age group will understand this better because, man! The level of horniness in 30s is out of this world. It almost feels like an earthquake. Ah, the burdens of manhood, especially when hardness becomes too hard to handle.
Somebody get me a better deal for a flight because, man, never again. Indeed, cheap is expensive.
How are your travel experiences like?
