UDAKU ZA MTAA wa pwani

20/10/2021

28/04/2021

Tujuane na kwenye mtu ametoka mm nmetoka nje

03/12/2020

🍆🍑MY FIRST SEX🍆🍑
GIRL: darling pls make love to me.
BOY: No dear. I won't pls.
GIRL: Am I not s*xy enough? See.I am half naked. Pls have s*x with me. Please!.
BOY: Yeah you are s*xy but pls put on your clothes I don't want do that right now. GIRL: (She removes her bra): darling pls I beg you. Just for once.
BOY: No. Put on your clothes. I am in the mood but I wont do it .GIRL: Why? Don't you love me?
BOY: yeah I love you so much. Pls I wont do until our wedding night. Put on your clothes. Let us wait till our wedding night. I love and respect your body. Then the girl puts on her clothes back without any s*x taking place
Don't stop reading i know if it was about God you will skip.
God: Today i'm happy to see my children.
Satan: which children
God: the one who is reading.
Satan: the one who is reading is mine too.
God: let's see where children belong.
Satan: ok fine mine will scroll down without doing anything.
God: mine will like the page, share in 3 groups and type, I WILL BE FAITHFUL TO YOU LORD.

10/07/2020

***MUNGU WA YASIYOWEZEKANA***

Kijana mmoja alikuwa anafanya kazi jeshini huku akifedheheshwa mara kwa mara kwa sababu alimwamini Mungu. Siku moja Kapteni alitaka kumfedhehesha mbele ya Askari wengine. Alimwita kijana akasema "Kijana kuja hapa, chukua funguo nenda ukapaki Jeep mbele. Kijana akajibu; "siwezi kuendesha gari! Kapteni akasema; "Naam omba msaada kwa Mungu wako! Tuonyeshe kuwa yupo!"

Kijana akachukua funguo, akaelekea lilipokuwa gari na kuanza kuomba... Alipaki Jeep mahali alipoelekezwa vizuri kikamilifu k**a kapteni alivyotaka. Kijana akatoka nje ya jeep na kuwaona wote wakilia. Wakasema kwa pamoja; "Tunataka kumtumikia Mungu wako!" Yule Askari kijana akastaajabu, akauliza "Nini kinachoendelea?" Kapteni huku akilia akafungua boneti ya Jeep na kumwonyesha kijana kwamba gari haikuwa na injini. Kijana akasema; "Umeona eh? Huyu ndiye Mungu ninayemtumikia; MUNGU WA YASIYOWEZEKANA, Mungu anayetoa uhai kwa kile kisichokuwepo." Unaweza kufikiri kuna mambo hayawezekani lakini kwa Mungu kila kitu kinawezekana. HAKUNA LISILOWEZEKANA KWA MUNGU!

Kwa wewe unayesoma hii, ninaomba Bwana atende MUUJIZA katika maisha yako leo; Katika Jina la Yesu Kristo... Andika 'Amina' au 'Amen' ukiwa na imani kuwa Mungu atatenda.
Na ikikupendeza "share" na wengine

18/10/2017

*Kesho ni Siku ya Mgomo kwa Wanaume wote Duniani... kukemea vikali Swala la kuhonga Hela Wanawake.. kwa sababu..5*

=.1..NYEGE Mnazitafuta wote..
=.2...MAPENZI mnafanya wote..
=.3...VIUNO, Mnakata wote
=.4...RAHA ,Mnapata wote.
=.5...KUKOJOA mnakojoa wote.

KWANINI NA PESA UMPE..?
HII SIO HAKI...!! HATA PESA YA HOTEL INABIDI MCHANGIE WOTE!!.

Wanaume hatupendi ujinga...

30/07/2017

*Wanaume mpunguze ukali kwa wake zenu ipo siku mtalia k**a rafiki yangu huyu, yaliyomkuta ni kibokooo,*😳👇

jamaaa alikuwa mkali sana kwa mkewe kiasi kwamba kosa dogo anafoka .Nakutoa maneno hata some time kumpiga. Jamaa juzi kaumwa sana kupelekwa hospital akaambiwa akalete mkojo ili wajue anaumwa nanini.
jamaa asubuhi na mapema kachukua mkojo wake vizuri kauweka kwenye kichupa cha hospitali alichopewa. Akauacha juu ya kabati, ili ajiandae kuvaa na kwenda hospitali. Bahati mbaya mkewe kupanga panga vitu kichupa kikadondoka mkojo ukamwagika wote. Kwa kuogopa kipigo faster mkewe kachukua kile kichupa akatia mkojo wake akakirudishia pale, then Akauchuna kimya. Jamaa kupeleka hospitali majibu yakatoka kuwa ana UTI na mimba ya miezi mitatu. sasa jamaa anahisi karogwa kumbe kajiroga mwenyewe. Hivi yuko njiani kuelekea sipitali 😂😂😂😂😂😂na mimi nmemwambia ukizubaa utajifungulia njiani mtoto njiti😂😂😂

22/04/2017

*Uswahilini bwana mtu akiwashwa mkononi utasikia ooh hela inakuja🙄akiwashwa miguuni utasikia safari hiyo !Sasa ngoja awashwe mkunduni wala humsikiii kusema uboo huo unakuja!🤗 utamuona anajikuna kimyakimya huku kakunja sura

28/02/2017

*WAZAZI PELEKENI WATOTO SUNDAY SCHOOL PLIZ!!!*

TEACHER: Nani aliua Goliath ?
STUDENT 1: Sio mimi.
STUDENT 2: Sikuwa shule jana. .
STUDENT 3: Mimi sijui. (The teacher went and told the headmaster ati watoto wa hiyo class hawajui nani aliua Goliath. ... the headteacher storms to the class.)
HEADTEACHER: Nani aliua Goliath?
CLASS: Sio sisi.
HEADTEACHER: Mkikosa kuniambia hii class itawaka moto.
CLASS: Hatujui.
The Headteacher turns and asks the teacher....'Uko sure Goliath aliuliwa na mtu wa hii darasa? ? -The teacher fainted... 😂😂😂