06/07/2025
*Naija Abroad: The Subtle Art of Thriving*
Living abroad is tough. Marriage abroad is tougher. Nigerians in the UK, US, Canada, Australia & beyond quietly wrestle with love, identity, and survival, behind the filters and smiling photos. This writeup is inspired by the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*" by Mark Manson. It's about choosing your battles, protecting your peace, and learning the art of intentional living in diaspora.
Because here’s the truth:
You can’t give a f*ck about everything. So choose what actually matters.
A lot of marriages abroad are crashing, but before you call yours a failure, pause. Your marriage didn’t fail. It may have simply outgrown the persons you both used to be.
Relocation reshapes us: new language, new values, new financial pressures. And sometimes, your partner isn’t prepared for the version of you that’s now self-aware, independent, or even just tired.
Stop blaming yourself.
Stop dragging each other through guilt and unmet expectations.
Instead, ask:
“What’s really worth giving a f*ck about? Is it peace, happiness, growth, healing, or keeping up appearances?”
Most importantly, understand this:
Western societies operate on different assumptions about gender roles, equality, and autonomy, and these cultural shifts quietly reshape the dynamics of marriage.
If you cling to outdated expectations, you’ll keep fighting the wrong battles.
Instead, adapt, focus on what brings real fulfilment, not what satisfies tradition or ego.
Let go of what no longer works, and build the kind of relationship and life that truly aligns with who you’re becoming. Only constant thing in life is change, so whether you grow together or apart, just change and never give a fck*
