15/08/2026
Oh, yes! Woke up happy today. I am no longer a gardener. I am now a full-time, unpaid restaurant manager for hoofed freeloaders, the Bambis. They look so sweet in the movies, don’t they? Big, soulful eyes, delicate little spots, fluttering eyelashes, frolicking through the woods with a songbird on their nose. Then I woke up this morning, looked out through my window, and realized that Bambi and his gang have turned my backyard into an all-you-can-eat midnight buffet. As long they keep away from eating my flowers, I will be delighted by their help cutting the grass in my garden.