31/03/2025
"DepEd, I am no longer Strong. "
I'm feeling very sad. I really didn't expect that I will reach here, where I decided to use what I studied; not in the country where I was born, but in the country where my fellow Filipinos will not teach.
Now I understand better why some people prefer to fly abroad. I understand better that they give up a lot of things just to survive. It's exhausting, actually.
My dream before to be a teacher, I realized it, it's not like what I expected when I was young. It's very difficult. I tried to get through those four years in college. I changed myself just to fit in the "Teaching Field" where there are more Doctors than Teachers (IYKYK).
For what? What are the things I fought for when I was a minor subject that seems to be in the same level as a major subject? What are my reviews for when there is an exam? What is the purpose of my sleepless nights with those FS? What was my Teaching Demo for before? For what are the things I was doing before?
I thought when I graduated, that was the Finish Line, but it was wrong. It is just another starting line that you should have a Backer. Backer for ranking, so you can get your sure item. What a dirty system. I didn't share all, but there are many.
Just judge me. I'm also tired of answering the questions that, "Are you Licensed?" Why are you not in Public yet? "
It's up to you. As for me, I'll give up on the system that we have. I'm not strong anymore. That's why it's up to this point. Goodbye to the dream that I got but it still remains a dream.
-RndmThghts
"DepEd, Hindi na ako Matatag."
Nalulungkot ako. Di ko talaga inaasahang aabot ako dito, kung saan nagdesisyon na akong gamitin ang pinag-aralan ko; hindi sa bansang kung saan ako isinilang, kundi sa bansang hindi ko kapwa Pilipino ang tuturuan ko.
Ngayon ko mas lalong naiintindihan kung bakit mas pinipili ng iba na lumipad papunta sa ibang bansa. Mas naiintindihan kong madaming bagay silang binibitawan para lang mabuhay. Nakakapagod, sa totoo lang.
Yung pangarap ko dati na maging g**o, natupad ko naman, hindi nga lang hawig sa inaasahan ko nung bata pa ako. Napakahirap. Pinilit kong maitawid yung apat na taon sa kolehiyo. Binago ko ang sarili ko para lang bumagay sa "Teaching Field" na mas marami pa ang Doktor kaysa mga g**o (IYKYK).
Para saan? Para saan ang mga ipinaglaban ko noong minor subject na parang ka-level lang din naman ng major subject? Para saan yung mga pagrereview ko noon tuwing may exam? Para saan yung pagpupuyat ko sa mga FS na yan? Para saan yung Teaching Demo ko noon? Para saan yung mga pinaggagawa ko noon?
Akala ko nung maka-graduate ako, yun na yung Finish Line, mali pala. It is just another starting line na dapat may Backer ka. Backer para sa pagpapa-rank, para makakuha ka ng sure item mo. Napakaduming sistema. Hindi ko nilalahat, pero madami.
Husgahan nyo na lang ako. Pagod na din ako sumagot sa mga tanong na, "Diba Lisensyado ka na? Bakit wala ka pa sa Public?"
Bahala na kayo. Basta ako, suko na sa sistemang meron tayo. Di na ako matatag. Kaya hanggang dito na lang. Paalam sa pangarap na nakuha ko nga pero nananatili pa ding pangarap.
-RndmThghts
