The Adventures of Big Betty

01/16/2022

A year ago today I had what people may call a, "soul touching moment."

I met this girl for the first time when she walked up to me in the wild pen. Spooked the hell out of me, but I knew she was meant to be mine. Now I can't keep her off of me, and she is my friend until the end.

Notice how fat she was? She'd been off the truck for a few days in this picture. I wonder how fat she was in holding... 🤣

09/30/2021

I got Betty back from the trainer at the end of August. I got on her the next day and she walked off like, no big deal. I worked her several times after that and we've had no issues. And then life hit, and I let her sit for 2 weeks. Ya know that awful feeling in the pit of your gut that says, "you're supposed to be doing something else!" when you're just so exhausted you go to bed by 9? Yeah that was me for those weeks. Don't get me wrong, I messed with her, we just didn't RIDE, RIDE.

I hopped on her tonight and off we went. *spoiler alert* if you're ever on a stroll out by the farm and you see me jumping around, singing and parking my horse next to a piece of equipment, just know she thought it was scary, and I needed to fix it. Because, I have to remember sometimes, she IS a baby. No matter how laid back she is, sometimes it all gets the better of her. However, she has picked up quickly that if she's scared of something, go touch it.

Betty:
I don't know why I thought this human was going to be less crazy when she came to pick me up. I thought surely she had changed in the time that I was gone. F**k, was I wrong. If I simply move too fast away from something? We go stand by it. If the small horse-eating fluffy monkeys spook me, we chase them. Those poor monkeys. They have to be about sick of being ran around the farm. I spooked at the large hay bringing monster tonight, too. Guess who had to stand by it until I relaxed (did you know that if you sigh and fall asleep, the human thinks that means you're relaxed? Idiot.) I also get my face taken away from me regularly. Bending, bending, bending, bu****it.

Tonight when I spooked (I'll admit it. I was a little worried she'd whip my head off) at the reins going over my neck, the damn woman had the audacity to flip them at me for what seemed like hours... and then scratch and wrap them all over my head until I stood there, utterly humiliated. I swear this human only on this earth to do just that, humiliate me.

03/22/2021

Mmmmm groom bag!

03/22/2021

And then there's Betty, who doesn't know that humans are supposed to be scary and new things are supposed to blow your mind. Grooming tools? Absolutely. Free scratches. The gold truck pulls up? That means FOOD and scratches!

Aannnddd the human keeps treats in her pockets! 😅🥰

02/24/2021

Much sass in this one. Must love it. 🥰

02/24/2021

Day 3/4
Kirsten -

Ya know that moment when your heart sinks into your ass? I had a big clinker this morning. Showed up to the farm to find a mare with NO HALTER. I may have cried a little. I for sure thought that this relationship was ruined, like a man when he discovers your crazy mother.

After some words of encouragement, from my friends and boss (who told me this was a test, thanks for the challenge, ya t**t!) I set out this afternoon with one goal. To halter the giant Betapotomous.

I jumped in the pen, separated Crazy Pants Magee off of Betty and into another pen, and got to work. We went back and forth for awhile until she discovered what I had in my pocket.. treats - Betty's kryptonite. She got about 12 in her belly and would skitter away for me every time I stepped towards her. I finally had enough and decided to treat her like a horse instead of a puppy. If I'm being honest, I was scared s**tless and could really only think about, "I'm so close... what if she decides to eat my ass?"

We did about 15 minutes of round penning before she decided that I was serious when I said, "You are getting a halter back on today, little missy." Looking back, I definitely could've died when I was finally close enough and ballsy enough to halter her. She had me smashed against a fence, on my tip toes. But hey - I got the damn job done!

I spent the next 45 minutes to loving on her. I'm pretty sure she enjoyed it.

P.S.
Daniel was at the farm today and may have gotten to witness some of the s**t show. And I may have screamed, "DANIEL! I DID IT!" When I finally got her ass haltered. I know there was definitely dancing. Lots and lots of dancing.

Day 3/4
Betty -

I thought I got the job done. I stuck my head through the fence, got the contraption on my face snapped off. I just KNEW it was smooth sailing from there. You should've seen the Two-Leggers FACE! Hahahahaha. It will forever be ingrained in my memory. So much disappointment. Infact I think I had her so stunned that she decided to just throw hay and leave. Cha-ching. I consider that a win.

She came back this afternoon though, how unusual! Doesn't she know she has to work to feed us? "Get back to work, slave!" I could tell she was on a mission by the way she walked... ya know, like she had something shoved up her you-know-what. She hopped over the fence and separated Black Du***ss off into another pen - WHAT a RELIEF! Sometimes that things anxiety gets to me.

When she came back to me, she had a contraption with her on her arm and just expected to walk up to me. HA she was the du***ss now. Did she really think I'd make it that easy? I pranced around her and flapped my head back and forth like a wild stallion. "No touchie!" I squealed and then it happened.

The magic nugget captivated me. I don't know what kind of joo-joo she puts in the magic nuggets... but it just does it for me. I ate all of them out of her pocket as fast as I could. I bow know the purpose of the clothing she wears... to hide the magic nuggets.

After eating all I could, the TL stood up and tried to walk up to me - once again, did she really think it would be that easy? But when I shied away this time, she got a little pissy and whapped my butt with the end of the contraption! I spun around and bolted around the pen several times until I was SO stunned by the encounter, I stood still in shock. Next thing I knew, the contraction was back on me and I was once again caught. The horror.

The TL spent the next eon rubbing all over me. I'm not gonna lie, the fact that she's also a personal massage therapist ONTOP of being my food slave is a big plus. I may just keep her around.

P.S.
The Black Du***ss stood behind me while I got my scritches and watched in complete horror. I gotta keep that one on her toes. Will I like the TL today? Tomorrow? Who knows.

02/23/2021

02/23/2021

Day 1/2 -
Kirsten

Ya know that feeling you get when you really shouldn't be doing something...? Well, I had that ALL day on Saturday. Why am I taking my dad's j***y old truck to get another mustang? The first one is enough.. I found punishment first thing in the morning right outside of Norton, Kansas. Flat tire on the truck. I've never changed a tire. Mild panic set in.. but after a couple of phone calls, I realized I was a strong independent woman who don't need no man! Yeah, that's what we'll go with.

Fast forward to getting Betty on the damn trailer... to which she walked right into... and heading home. I told Blair not to tie her, because I didn't want her to lose her marbles when I got her home. Mistake. She was shaking the trailer as we pulled out. She's a monster! Quickly pulled over and shut the partition on her... because looorrrddd with the wind Western Kansas had on Saturday, we'd have been dead.

Sunday was uneventful, I think it was the long day of anxiety that caught up with me from Saturday... because I was as sick as it gets. I laid in bed all day and thought to myself, "WHY ON EARTH DID YOU GO GET ANOTHER ONE!? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FIRST ONE!"

This morning my expectations were low, thank God. Because just as I suspected, Kelp taught Betty to run. I left them alone to settle because Kelpie got Betty SO worked up. I fed and dashed.

This evening I decided to separate Kelpie off and see if Betty retained anything from TIP training... and to my surprise... I got first touch.

I now know why a little voice in my head said, "Go back and get her. That's your horse. That's the mare you've waited for." I get it now.

P.S. I snuck this one by Daniel, because this morning when I asked him if he'd been to the farm lately, he said yes... and I giggled a little. He missed her completely. I'm very proud of myself.

P.P.S. I ordered a mustang, and definitely got a mule.

Day 1/2 -
Betty

Hi. I'm Betty. I'm Dork. I'm, "Pretty Girl" or so the two-legger calls me. I'm a baby in a big body, and I love to dance.

A couple of days ago, I was loaded onto a small bus. My ears touched the dang ceiling! I was appalled. I spent the majority of the ride pacing and shaking said small bus. When we got home, I the dark, the two-legger ran me down some alleys into a pen with the BIGGEST BITCH I've ever met in my life. I distinctly remember the TL saying, "Make good choices!" and then WHAM... this black thing came outta no where. I showed her, though. I'm bigger. I run this pen. Muhahahah. Idiot.

This next day passed without much activity. There are these fluffy flying monkeys that like to sleep in my hay and scare the s**t out of me... but we won't speak of those. They will come back and attack me again.

The black du***ss says it's fun to run from the TL... so the morning she finally showed up, we lapped the pen like racing fillies. I felt majestic and pranced around her as she stood there, completely disappointed. She threw that delicious food at me (food is my FAVORITE!) and left with a huff.

She came back that evening though and ran the black du***ss out of the pen. I felt mild panic when she turned on me. "DONT GO FOR THE FACE... DONT GO FOR THE FACEEEE!" I don't like my face or my ears touched and what do ya know... she didn't go for them! I guess this TL is okay. I stood there shell shocked as she scratched my shoulder and cooed to me like I was a new born foal.. But, I mean, can a girl beat having a food slave? I think not! Mild toleration is required, I guess...

02/17/2021

A split second before she realized just how close I was to her.

02/11/2021

Kirsten -
What good hay, alfalfa pellets, a fatty grain and probiotics will do to a mustang. Look at that bootay!

Kelp -
Ya gonna bring me that candy sometime today, Junior? Obviously starving over here. LETS GOOOOO!

02/07/2021

The look on Kelps face when I was throwing blankets on her domestic moron neighbors this morning...