07/27/2025
Good Morning, Campers. Today’s episode will be titled thanks to *Darius Rucker “Beers and Sunshine” as one cancelled out the other. We had plenty of beer but were greatly lacking in the sunshine department. Your efforts, however, were duly noted.
Let’s jump right into Mary Jane’s fetching ensemble of the day, thanks to your contributions to her fashion wardrobe. Lucky for us, she is a trash panda, and being fashion forward, as you can see by her bibs and pooka necklace, is not in her vocabulary. She does, however, look ready for adventure in this stifling heat with a neck fan and jacquard-patterned f***y pack. And sure, let’s go ahead and note the devil's lettuce perched in her wee little creepy fingers.
Clothing today thankfully seems to be in short supply. One pair of black socks, one MAGA hat (which I internally predicted that it would be left behind when I saw it walk through the gate atop a young man who was sporting a rather voluminous, mane of curly ginger hair to the point that said hat was precariously perched on top.) So I was not in the least bit surprised this morning when it was lying among the debris.
A sparse sampling of koozies. 1 coolie towel in a ziploc bag, 1 blue still damp, and also still cool coolie towel. 1 seat cushion that has little to no cushion, not sure if the cushion has been sat out of it or if in fact the purchaser had hopes that when it was removed from its hermetically sealed packaging that it would expand into a luxuriant cushion instead of this meager offering. 4 ½ pairs of sunnies. I would be willing to offer you some super glue, but I am afraid it may be beyond that. 1 hoop earring and one unfortunate broken necklace. Maybe when the sunglass guy is finished with the super glue, he can share it with you? 1 lone penny soon to be on the endangered species list. 1 pink hand fan and 1 Stitch fan. 1 canister of Rogue Ni****ne on Demand ~ Apple Pouches. I wonder if sales would improve if it were described somewhat like a wine, “Rogue Ni****ne Pouches on Demand with just a hint of Apple”? Several selections of balms, sticks, and gloss for one's lips were left behind.
Things that should have been left at home but made it to the gate, and that’s where they stayed.
1 fake cigarette disguised as such in order to smoke the devil's lettuce…sneaky…sneaky.
Lots and lots of aerosols to ward off either germs or bugs. *Fireball Whisky once again makes its debut. 1 apple vodka shooter, 2 cans of beer, 1 Drink Surfside, and 1 bottle of water. 1 cookie that, in all fairness, was purchased in the venue and left behind. Several bags of unmarked tablets. And a whooping 4 sharp pokie things and 1 nail clipper.
It’s time to check your wallet, or lack of a wallet:
Christy Blackerby
Patricia Eikenberr
Melissa Frerking
Melinda Hunsberger
Heidi Schisler
Operators will be back at their desks, anticipating your phone calls to reunite you with your belongings, Monday morning at 573-346-0000. Any objects not claimed will make their way into the 2nd Annual Ozarks Amphitheater’s Lost, Found or Confiscated Garage Sale on October 4th. All proceeds will be donated to a nonprofit of our staff’s choosing.
Once again, thanks for supporting us and live music. Mary Jane is ready to get her adventures started…so like Mary Jane, live a little, go out and take those unexpected chances, just not those unexpected chances crossing the road in front of a moving vehicle.
Please note: Mary Jane is just for scale or maybe a cautionary tale.
