06/13/2025
It's a trainers job to push riders out of their comfort zone, in such a way that builds confidence in both the rider and the horse.
Adjusting exercising to develop not just physical skill but to boost confidence.
Here, we encourage our young riders to advocate for themselves and their horses, to read their horses reaction to exercises and to speak up, respectfully, if they think it's too much.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1683LBShfw/
When a Young Rider Says "No" (And No One Listens)
There’s something that’s been sitting heavy with me.
I recently heard a story that I think too many of us can relate to - especially women, especially young girls, and especially those of us who’ve grown up in horse culture. It was about a young rider who didn’t feel ready. Her horse was nervous. She was nervous. But the trainer said, “Get on anyway.” So she did. Even though her gut said not to.
She was told to reef the bit. To smack her horse. To be harder, stronger, louder.
And she did it! Not because she believed in it, but because she didn’t feel like she had the right to say no.
That’s what really hit me.
Not just that a horse was pushed past her threshold…
But that a young person was, too.
And that’s still happening. A lot.
I’ve been there! So many of us have!
You don’t want to be difficult. You don’t want to look bad. You don’t want to question someone with a big name or big voice. So you override your instincts. And afterward, you carry the guilt for doing something that didn’t feel right. For not standing up for your horse. For not standing up for yourself.
-
So I want to say this to every young rider:
Your voice matters.
If something doesn’t feel right, you are allowed to say no.
Even if the trainer has a great reputation.
Even if everyone else is watching.
Even if you can’t explain why yet.
-
Here is some food for thought:
Pushing a rider past their threshold almost always means the horse is being pushed past theirs, too.
The two are connected.
And if there isn’t compassion for the human, it’s hard to believe there’s true compassion for the horse.
-
Let’s do better!
Let’s raise riders who trust themselves, not ones who learn to override their instincts to please authority.
Let’s raise horses who feel safe, not ones who are “obedient” because they’ve been shut down.
Let’s train from a place of kindness, not control.
Because the real goal here isn’t obedience.
It’s confidence.
It’s curiosity.
It’s connection.
