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http://LandlubberLogistics.com/, https://www.etsy.com/shop/LubberJunkiesStudio

Landlubber Logistics, Cruz Bay, FL (2026)

10/22/2026

Billy here… though you can’t see me cause I live in the dark now…

So in nothing more than an act to preserve my business I come to you today (sorry I don’t have the energy or patience to post anything too rambunctiously entertaining at the moment)

Power outages as of late have been abundant and amorphous. Some are just short little interludes, lasting an hour or so, and others are a bit more abyss like, namely our most recent deep dive into darkness for 20+ hours.

Regardless of these inconsistencies in human necessity, we at Landlubber are still delivering daily.

Starfish Market, our main provisioning hub has backup power and a refrigerated trailer dedicated to provisioning orders.

Dolphin Market, St. John Market, Pine Peace, Raintree, Love City and all other grocery/mini-market locations have backup power as well so they are unaffected by this recent long and drawn out game of “Lights Out.” All grocery related food is safe unless the island runs out of diesel which hopefully isn’t a possibility…

What is being affected is the people, restaurants and small businesses of St. John and St. Thomas as we all scramble
to keep our s**t together. I have a pretty tough outer shell and have spent a predominant amount of my life in the dark, both literally and metaphorically, so I can handle it. Cory and our staff are tough as nails as well BUT we all are forced to survive and put on happy faces amidst this chaos. Thankfully you don’t have to physically see us in person for we aren’t that great at hiding our anger.

Workers across the island are surviving in darkness, sleeping in hot houses and doing their best to keep children and family members in a positive place during this ridiculous situation and all the while working their 9 to 5 throughout it.

So while you are here or when you visit, please exude a bit of patience with everyone. We are trying our best to be as joyful as possible but paradise hasn’t been much fun of late.

If you are on our calendar for delivery please trust that we are wholeheartedly dedicated to ensuring that your arrival days are amazing and that the food we deliver is well kept and delicious.

If you are staying in a villa without backup power, your orders will stay safely kept in the refrigerated trailer mentioned earlier in this post until power returns or you request delivery. Whether it’s hours or days we will ensure all is kept fresh.

If you are in a villa with back-up power, do know that we call each management company the day prior to ensure all backup generation is fueled and in good working condition.

While it does appear that our own government doesn’t give a s**t about our well being, we here at Landlubber give a s**t about your vacation and all our guests.

So, I may be tired, dirty and slightly homicidal BUT I will make sure that all aspects of our responsibilities to your vacation take place without even a hiccup of doubt (and don’t worry all my homicidal thoughts are strictly fantasy and have nothing to do with you)

Please have patience with the island while we do our best to get past this pretty awful scenario.

And we got new stickers!!! So if you want a sticker and a sackful of groceries, email us at:

[email protected]

In the meantime, if you have any government officials that are relatives or friends, tell them our story.

www.landlubberlogistics.com

10/15/2026

Billy wears his sunglasses at night… and in the dark when the powers out which is often lately…

*DISCLAIMER: whenever the power goes out, the only place I can funnel my anger is into my writing so please bare in mind, I’ve written this of my own volition but with limited rationale… enjoy!

I always find it dually entertaining and aggravating when outsiders of St. John email to ask me what I do when the power goes out.

Being the sarcastic weirdo I am, especially during October, I like to spice it up a bit for my own entertainment value.

This past week a guest asked me “So what do you do when the power goes out…”

I replied “Well, what don’t we do!”

I described how residents of St. John, once the power goes out, adorn masks and take to the streets in a frenzy of low level crime and other shady shenanigans. Trick is, we have to be inside before the power comes back on and because we have no f@&king clue when that will be, it makes the crime spree all the more exciting. If you get caught in the lights when they eventually come back on, you can either pay for all damages done during the “Lights Out, Fights Out” event or, if you can’t afford that, you are kicked off the island permanently.

She didn’t respond to that email. What she meant was what do WE, The Landlubbers do about deliveries when the power goes out.

Took me about 5 emails and a phone call to convince her I was joking but she eventually came around.

So in an effort to put a stop to all these darkness inquiries (and to calm the Radcliffe Family down about what takes place here during black outs) here goes.

Nothing…

See we have the available option of holding your orders in a generator driven cold storage thanks to our friends at Starfish until the power returns. We hold all deliveries until power returns and is stable for at least an hour. Then, depending on how vague the messaging is from the power company about the power staying on or going out again, make a decision (with your consent) to deliver your order or continue holding.

If the cold storage goes down (we know, it happened last year) we then re-shop the orders from scratch from a market that still has power and deliver your order and extras when power returns or at your request. Power went out for a whole weekend last year along with the cold storage container and all our Saturday and Monday arrivals received freshly hand picked food and beverages by us on their scheduled arrival dates. You’re welcome! Albeit a little later in the day but they knew the hurdles involved and were thankful.

So, one way or another, we have you covered.

We have all sorts of fail safes to our services.

There’s the power outage plan.

There’s an undead zombie outbreak plan (not sure tourists want to hear that one for we basically offer your brains to the zombies so that people who reside here have time to flee the island on boats)

There’s an Artificial Intelligence take over plan… Doesn’t really involve much. Power doesn’t stay on long enough for AI to download into our mainframe which is so dated, the AI would likely pass regardless. Doubt it wants to wait around for Windows 2.0 to update amidst a hostile takeover of humanity. In case you haven’t noticed technological advances aren’t very high on the totem pole here so when s**t does finally hit the fan, you’ll envy all the practice we have had living in the dark and without power. Thanks WAPA for all the practice!

Fact of the matter is, much like an amputee gets used to living without a limb, we’ve become great at running a business that relies on electrical current when there is none. I’ve also become nocturnal, can see about 50 yards in the dark and can make some ridiculous shadow animals but these are just some of the perks that come from living in the Abyss, I mean paradise….

So fear not traveler! Don’t let these hiccups in modern living thwart your vacation plans. Come, experience the true beauty of St. John without the shackles of modern technology and have groceries delivered at some point after your arrival even if the power goes out, guaranteed.

Email us to check availability at:

[email protected]

End of October is heating up and dates are almost full.
November is a full scale slobber knocker
And December, well, if you ain’t emailed us yet, good luck!

Here are some October pics and I still have a Halloween story to come… oh and some feral cats!!!

09/27/2026

Alas, the Landlubbers hath returned!!!

Billy here…

Our end of season adventures are officially over! After a brief stop in Cancun to have adamantium grafted to my fists (to increase my grip for maximum grocery carrying capacity… and to punch stuff) coupled with a little R & R in North Carolina, we are back on island and jonesin’ to get back to our property management permitted, reverse burglary operation of stuffing empty fridges full of food before guests arrive on island!

Truth be told, Cory is still out galavanting across the globe for a bit longer. Her mermaid tendencies make underwater diving a necessary evil before season so she’s knee deep in a 36 hour flight path to the Philippines. I don’t particularly enjoy being under thousands of gallons of water with animals that are bigger and faster than me, hence the nickname “The Landlubber” and her trip being a solo mission. She is truly the Aqua Woman to my Wolverine so everyone, if you can, wish her a safe and fish-ful journey.

That being said, to avoid having a super long post, I’m gonna do this business related post and then do another Landlubber Halloween story in a few days. Didn’t want y’all to think I’ve gone soft in year 7 of my Landlubberin’ postings.

With each new season, we do our best to implement new options for our guests to indulge in and better ways to help the always growing demand for our services while simultaneously preserving our sanity to the best of our ability (and my therapists).

Much of November and December is already partially to fully booked. To try and combat this issue we are going to be offering some after arrival delivery options for dates that are totally consumed by early bird reservations so we can help more people. All this means is if your arrival date is totally filled with pre arrivals commitments, we will give you the option to have an estimated window for delivery after your check in. A Landlubber driver will contact you on your arrival day and keep you in the loop, letting you know where we are or if they are on their way so if you want to go out, you can. You don’t have to be there for us to deliver after check in.

This will alleviate the stress of waiting around for us and save you from seeing our ugly, angry little faces. We will stock the villa in your absence or if you choose to be there to meet us, we will do our best to behave while in your company.

DISCLAIMER: No promises can be made about our behavior after nightfall. We typically grow hair, fangs and howl at the moon most evenings so we will do our best to finish all deliveries before dusk.

There will of course be a limit to how many of these we can do as well so email us sooner than later. I know some people want us to be available 24/7 but if I don’t get an adequate amount of down time after work, I’ll literally start biting people in public and no one wants or needs that (see above disclaimer).

Secondly, Island Hope W**es has sent us a specially priced flyer of their wines for all Landlubber guests. I will be attaching this flyer to each ordering instructions email I send out after you agree to our fees. I just got this news this week so if you have an existing reservation and would like a copy, email me and I’ll send it over. It has package deals for wines so you don’t have to waste time perusing Starfish or Dolphin Markets online ordering pages only to hope somewhere has what you ordered available once we shop. Just pick a flavor grouping or package deal that works for you and let Island Hope W**es put together your vino adventure for us to pick up and deliver with your groceries.

Besides Island Hope W**es, we still have all our other great arrival day and mid week options:

-Sun Dog Supper Club
-Sam and Jacks Deli
-Northshore Deli
-Paulie’s
-Shaibu’s Grab and Go
-Beach Bum
-Arawak
-Our Market Smoothies (gallons of painkillers, rum punch, gift baskets, balloons, etc.)
-Bouquet Flowers
-The W**e Shop
-Island Hope W**es
-St John Spice
-St John Meats
-Chelsea Pharmacy

And many other options to help make your arrival days part of your vacation, not just a burdensome day of travel filled with stress and gathering.

Full list of options available with all ordering instructions we send guests after reservations are finalized.

Lastly, we are closed on Sundays. Have been since 2022. Not only are Sundays rough days to shop, most all our additional options that we offer are closed as well. This along with poor inventory makes Sunday the most opportune day for us to not leave our house and recoup from the week prior.

IF you are arriving on a Sunday, still email us!
Often times, if the villa is vacant on Saturday, we can deliver the day before with property managements permission or we can deliver after arrival on Monday. We aren’t just a pre arrival service.

Also, you don’t have to order groceries for your entire stay in one sitting. We do offer restocks during the week so don’t feel obligated to order everything for your arrival day. I only say this because over the past few years there has been an uptick in ginormous orders which is fine by us but it severely limits our availability to help others. Most villas usually only have one fridge too so if you want to avoid arriving to a mini-mart in your villa kitchen, keep the day one order down to a few days worth of supplies and order more later.

Add in the shortened shelf life of things like produce and it makes no sense to order 15 pounds of tomatoes that will likely spoil before you can eat them. Order for the first few days and if you need more supplies we will get you scheduled and return. Restocks are much simpler. Normally we just have guests email us a list and deliver at our convenience, without the time constraints of pre arrival promise. Do as you must but just some “food” for thought.

In conclusion, we are so happy to be back and ready for another fun filled, sort of snarky yet surprisingly polite and accommodating season with all our lovely guests.

Super grateful for all your support, year in and year out.

So, to check and see if we still have availability, email us at:

[email protected]

Thanksgiving week is already slammed.
Xmas week too.
Even January, February and March are filling up! Quick!
All that means is you better email us soon to ensure you aren’t stuck scrambling around island during the holiday season!

Here are some fridge pics from past seasons, some feral cats and our awesome in door cats, Renfield and Chupacabra/Lance Bass. Some vacation pics too.

www.landlubberlogistics.com

09/10/2026

Billy not here, but somewhere….

We are indeed still vacationing but I had some down time in between our fun filled adventures in the continental 48… so I did a bit of Landlubber Halloween promotional materials… (my most favorite time of year!)

I normally don’t mess with AI. I don’t like it. I’m a firm believer that one day I will be fighting robots amidst an artificial intelligence uprising. I’m not too concerned about them taking my job which is weird. Just engaging in combat with Alexa and her band of household robots to ensure humanity isn’t eradicated.

Anyways, my meta app asked if I wanted to alter a photo of Cory’s grandpa’s uncles car (she wanted to ensure I got the lineage of the car’s beholders correct) so I did and then for the helluva it, I asked if it could make an Ed Roth style hearse with groceries spilling out of it and add Landlubber to the mix. Wouldn’t you know, the damn little meta devil popped out a pretty cool pic. After a few hours of fine tuning the poster along with subtle threats sewn into my verbiage, foreshadowing the untimely demise of Mr. Meta should he one day decide to turn on me, I got this!

So for your viewing pleasure and to further extend my warning that delivery dates are filling up by the hour, here is what myself and the harbinger of doom (the meta app) came up with.

Thanks for checking in. If you too want to make sure your first day here is an easy one, email us at:

[email protected]

Be sure to include your arrival date, villa or resort name (no addresses), and flight arrival time (optional) and we will let you know if we can assist.

See you when we get back!

08/26/2026

Billy here….

We may be on vacation but we are still taking emails 24/7 so don’t sleep on making your October and Holiday reservations. Many others are and believe me when I say weekends in November, December and January are already filling up… quick!

Don’t let your arrival day be a scary one… Invite us into your vacant villa or resort (with permission of property management) and we shall nefariously (and neatly) sneak in prior to your arrival and stuff your fridge full of groceries, arrival meals, gallons of premixed drinks, artisan meats and coffees and other tasty treats to ensure your first day on island isn’t a horror show!

To check availability and lock down a reservation Email us at: [email protected]

Be sure to include the following:
Villa or resort name
Arrival date
Flight arrival time… optional if you don’t know yet!

Till then, be well and don’t resort to any cannibalistic tendencies in our absence… please!

Happy almost Halloween Time from your favorite Markeplace Monsters!!!

www.landlubberlogistics.com

UPDATE: had wrong date. Apologies. Meant 10/1/26. Sorry for the scare… sort of!

08/11/2026

Billy here…

The countdown to the 2025/2026 season is officially upon us. Our last day of slinging groceries is August 18th. A bit earlier than usual but we have some stateside adulting commitments to be completed. Side quests if you must that need cinching up before our October return.

That being said, it’s not very often that I have time to reflect on the last few years. On a day to day basis I’m more worried about the needs of others then I am the accolades of our little home grown company.

What started out as a service designed to help high risk individuals through the 2020 COVID lockdown turned into a grocery delivery juggernaut. The use of “juggernaut” may be a bit much but for 2 people and a rotating cast of part time lubbers over the years, I consider Landlubber to be rather juggernaut-ish.

We’ve steadily grown as well. I honestly thought our identity as a company would soon flounder once the world returned to normal. Between the price of groceries, gas and other service related components I figured our little service would have died out alongside the fashionable aspects of Covid face masks.

But it didn’t. We grew more. My sometime surly posts were considered by most to be rather risqué and I thought they would surely be the preface to our demise. It’s not really advised to shame strangers while actively living and working in a service based tourist industry but I swore when we locked in to this occupation that while being extremely accommodating to those who abided by our terms, I would not allow the entitled to trample us. It’s just not in my DNA to kiss the asses of the undeserving.

Then we started accruing fans who reveled in our salty satire and a community of people who looked to us to defend the hard working efforts of our fellow service industry workers who often times get unjustly judged by passing visitors. It brings me great pride to speak for the unspoken and I would prefer to die on that sword as opposed to succumbing to the demands of the insubordinate others.

It’s really been an amazing ride and if you would have told younger me that I’d be a grocery tycoon on an island in the Caribbean with a lovely business partner/island wife surrounded by feral cats and endlessly searching for 12 packs of Diet Dr. Pepper, I would have told you you were nuts.

All that being said I would once again like to thank all the on island property managers, off island travel guides and concierges and countless guests who refer our services to their friends. You couldn’t fathom how grateful I am to be a part of the St. John community and the successes your kind words and referrals have bestowed upon Cory and I.

I want to thank our current cast of kick ass drivers for helping us throughout this past season. Big thanks to my cousin Derek, my neighbor Dan Sullivan and the team of Sarah and Charlotte (her beautiful little tater tot daughter who accompanied her on all her grocery slinging adventures) for joining us in stuffing the fridges of strangers in a visually enticing manner that borders on the beginnings of treatment for severe OCD later in life.

I would like to thank the gang of other drivers that worked with us throughout the season as well. While your time with us may have been short, your contributions were appreciated (mostly😈).

I would also like to thank Cory, my loving partner, for dealing with me throughout the year. My strict time constraints and sometimes stifling commitment to Landlubber can be exhausting but my validation issues and need for perfectionism are the unspoken for yet necessary building blocks to the Landlubber way.

Crazily enough we served over 1800 guests this year and I can only count on two hands the guests who alleged disapproval of some aspect of our services rendered. There may have been others that didn’t speak up but silence leaves no room for us to fix things so shame on you. 99.35826% of people describe our services in the most glowing fashion so I honestly don’t know what didn’t work and while I do feel for you, it is what it is.

Not to mention, our service is pretty much mistake proof. If you email us about ANYTHING that doesn’t work for your delivery after you arrive, we will come fix it same day for free. We’ve always stood behind the fact that guest satisfaction is paramount so like they used to say to combat terrorism, “if you see something, say something!” We aren’t married to you so if we have to go back out and get the right chips for you, we aren’t going to sleep on the couch or not talk to you later. Tell us!

Anyway, it’s been awesome and my apologies for the mushy post but it’s important to me that everyone know how much we appreciate your continued support and how happy we are to be the go to service for most all that visit this island.

While we will be away from August 18th to October 1st, email us for any delivery inquiries. We answer emails throughout vacation so that guests can secure their fall, winter and 2027 delivery reservations. November and December are already filling up so don’t hesitate because we are away. We will get back to you same day and if we don’t, message us on Facebook to ensure you don’t get overlooked.

Email us at:

[email protected]

For more details about our services, visit:

www.landlubberlogistics.com

Thank you, thank you, thank you and for the last time this season, here are some of the fridge pics from July and August.

See you when we return. If shall be marked by our vacation recap, our back in business post and hopefully yet another Halloween video.

Also I’m sorry if your fridge pics don’t appear in this post. July and August have been crazy busy and having served over 300 guests since our last post and Facebook only allowing 100, some won’t make the cut so I do apologize in advance.

See you in October!!!

06/17/2026

Billy here….

Ladies and gentleman…

I come to you today in vengeance. Not against the innocent, but for the small minority of people who hath spoken out against the Landlubbers amidst my absence today on the travel pages. Sorry I was working and could not defend myself.

While at work it has come to my attention that my name was dragged into some surly commentary.

Now that I am home, let’s talk about it:

Issue 1

First and foremost, I’ve grown tired of people saying they emailed us and that they are not receiving a response. 9 times out of 10, when this happens, these same people are emailing the wrong email address.

These same people post online that they emailed us and didn’t get a response and when I search their names I can’t find any emails from them or their emails are in spam (actually just happened)….

We answer all emails same day. If you don’t hear back from us and the sun sets then rises again the next day, email us again and make sure you have the right email address. If you still don’t hear from us, message us on Facebook messenger. We will reply to messenger if you continue to have email issues.

If you email us from weird server domains, they sometimes get kicked to spam. We do check spam somewhat often but between the truckloads of spam mail we receive daily about trust funds we have to collect on, website creators who noticed issues with our website and can fix them for $99.99 a month or fake invitations to events around the world only to try and then steal our personal info, it’s hard to identify what is real or tom foolery.

Issue 2

We don’t take phone reservations. We don’t take phone anything. We tried. It’s a nightmare.

Between people who don’t understand time zones and time changes calling all hours of the night to guests who would call and want us to describe entire market inventories to them like some sort of meta AI assistant, it’s just not a sustainable method of communication for us.

In case you don’t know, there are 4 of us on a good day. We are a modern day group of grocery renaissance men and women, each highly trained in rapid email response, large scale grocery procuring, expert island driving and sarcasm. Not telemarketing.

We have tried for 7 years now to remove our phone number from all internet searches and sites but somehow, someway, someone always finds it. It’s like our contact info has been etched into a very popular bathroom stall wall somewhere and says for “good times and groceries call: ….”

Because we don’t EVER get calls on our personal numbers regarding work other than from property managers, friends, coworkers and weird survey people who strategically change their numbers routinely to try and surprise us into answering random questions about our cellular service or healthcare on island, new numbers that aren’t saved are always scary.

Oddly enough, new numbers always call during the worst moments. For example, recently someone called at 2:00 (apex of grocery delivery). No one ever calls during the day so I immediately thought it was a work or personal emergency (I’m a bit of a hypochondriac) so, in an effort to answer my phone while balancing groceries on the 17th step of a 2 story stairwell, I had to switch to a one arm curl, tuck the phone between my ear and the stucco wall next to me and then quickly regroup to avoid grocery disaster.

I answered gruffly to say the least. Said person then asked if I was Billy from Landlubber and then went immediately into a dialogue about ordering confusion. I stopped them, asked who they were, if they had a reservation and how they got my number.

I then said we don’t normally take work related questions on our personal phone numbers BUT what do you need… I answered, reiterating that the all powerful and all knowing ordering instructions had the answer they sought in the “how to order” link we already provided them… go figure.

About an hour later I get an email that they were cancelling due to my off putting demeanor. I sent a follow up email apologizing and explaining myself. They then sent another follow up email, this one was much more descriptive about their feelings towards me and my actions so I ended it by sending one final email that said “hope you have a wonderful stay and all goes amazingly with your travels!”

Case closed…
…
….
Or so I thought.

Nope, it ain’t over yet. Now said person wants to take the verbal fisticuffs to social media. Tsk, tsk, my “not able to let things go “ never-to-be-my-friend… friend. I wasn’t even going to mention this ridiculous occurrence but now you want to start a rally about it. So be it!

Can’t a guy answer random numbers without enthusiasm anymore?! Especially work calls on a private number that’s been leaked out and added on Yelp (we didn’t put it there, people can add contact info to Yelp postings… so whoever did put it there THANKS!) Doesn’t mean I hate my job!

I guess not for now I got people calling me (friends and co-workers, not strangers) asking me if I’m alright. Small children have gathered outside my house with signs that say “Feel better BIlly we love The Landlubbers!” My neighbors sent brownies and a fun calendar with quirky anecdotes to brighten my oddly announced hatred for my job second handedly by random facehookers (what I call Facebook people including myself)

Nothing is wrong. We love our job. We have for 7 years now. We love our clients too. What we don’t love is people who can’t follow the rules of engagement. It’s been like that since the beginning.

Did I regret sounding surly on the phone…. Briefly.
Do I feel the need to apologize? Well I did apologize via email but now we are entrenched in social media warfare so I RETRACT my initial apology and say good ridden to ya!

I’m not perfect. I’m also not an abomination so, if you don’t want to suffer through my rather drab phone skills and can accurately enter our email into the TO: address bar of an outgoing email draft or aren’t emailing us from some weird domain address, email us at.

[email protected] (if we don’t answer, wait 24 hours send again or message us on Facebook messenger!)

For more details about out company visit:

Landlubberlogistics.com

For any further complaints about how I act when people don’t follow the rules to order, please write them down on a piece of paper, ball them up tightly and toss them in the nearest waste basket.

And now, here are some early fridge pics from the countless end of May/early June guests who followed all our ordering instructions, weren’t confused by them and ordered without issue or seeking out social media to post one sided remarks about quirky interactions they had with me…

And feral cats and of course, our cats…
And as always, thank you to all our lovely fans and followers… sorry for the lengthy diatribe about useless information.

Landlubber Logistics

10/22/2026

10/15/2026

09/27/2026

09/10/2026

08/26/2026

08/11/2026

06/17/2026

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