03/01/2026
Iran: a Proper Mess, but How Does it Impact Fort Dodge?
This is the question the staff of CityLife FD has been racking our brains trying to answer. First we went around the room and asked if anyone had friends or family in or from Iran. Two guys think that a local business they regularly buy liquor and kratom extract from might be Pakistani, I asked them why they thought that, they said they were just guessing and I took a time out to do some breathing exercises before I did something I would surely regret later.
That was the extent of our research. We concluded that how this military conflict affects Fort Dodge citizens and visitors is dependent upon two things- your personal opinion of the late Ayatollah and your views on the use of artificial intelligence-based mass surveillance control grids and autonomous kill-chain shortening drones.
Here in the office, no one has met the Ayatollah or even talked to him on Discord, so we can't say one way or the other what kind of guy he was. Four of our employees have had exchanges with Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu on X that they said went poorly and based on that they said the Ayatollah was "meh". So we recommend asking friends and family about their social media experiences with any of these shady characters and that information will help develop a picture of who to root for in this brouhaha.
Addressing the second aspect of how this might impact you - the rise of AI mass surveillance and kill-chain shortening autonomous vehicles -- the office folks are in lockstep with their view, which is F**K AI. AI is ruining all creative endeavors and the products they produce, creating an inescapable sense of uncertainty and distrust as AI creations are rapidly becoming indecipherable from real images, songs and videos and the AI industry is gobbling up all the necessary components of consumer electronics, all while it does nothing for us but make it easier to write email, tease co-workers by using AI to make images of them being railed in a tutu and give us pointless Super Bowl commercials where Tom Cruise fights Brad Pitt and all sorts of other bu****it slop.
Meanwhile, the data centers are energy vampires, sending electric bills skyrocketing for normal folks wherever these companies can pay off the local political leaders who will forsake their constituents for a pittance just like every other American politician.
Not only that, but the centers produce tremendous amounts of infrasound, low-frequency sound inaudible to the human ear but produces terribly disorienting and painful effects akin to that of Havana Syndrome, the group of symptoms associated with being hit with an acoustics-based directed energy weapon.
These centers are also hoggin up the supply of RAM, HDDs and SSDs, GPUs and other processing chipsets, so next year when phones and pretty much any other piece of computing consumer technology skyrockets in price and becomes scarce. If you build your own PCs, good luck, everything is going to s**t and if you ask us, If we here at CityLife could trade Sam Altman, Peter Thiel or any other piece of s**t technocrat scumbag to bring the Ayatollah back to life, we'd do it in a heartbeat if it meant RAM stopped costing as much as a high end RTX GPU cost just three months ago.
In conclusion, AI sucks, it's just to create a police state of constant surveillance that makes 1984 look like a utopia, yet the same leaders who got cucked by Israel into drone striking the Ayatollah are pushing AI on us so hard and fast it's going to make the next years consumer price index look unbearable, create more poverty and homelessness, give governments a neverending get out of jail free card when compromising video or audio leaks as they can just say it's AI and soon no one will be able to prove otherwise.
Data centers are acting like acoustic weapons, terrorizing whole regions of the cities they're built in and the stock market is poised to crash harder than it ever has because trillions are being put into OpenAI and stock of GPU manufacturers is skyrocketed when their manufacturing capacity cannot possible keep up with the expected pace of development of AI.
To quell the tide of negative sentiment, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is promising a "consumer electronic device" based on their AI that will revolutionize our lives more than smartphones. Yeah, right. The guy needs all the components of consumer electronics for his data centers, hasn't come remotely close to making his company profitable for venture capitalists and shareholders and he molested his 4 year old sister as a 13 year old boy up to the time he was 17.
If it's Ayatollah vs. Sam Altman, we support the Ayatollah and it's not even close. RIP Ayatollah, you weren't great but you also weren't Sam Altman.
Tell us what you think, Dodgearinos!
