06/24/2022
WARNING: SERIOUS CRIME COMMITTED -- SUSPECTS STILL AT LARGE
A vicious walleye SMASH AND GRAB took place during the early morning hours today, at an undisclosed location about 10 miles from West Harbor. Thirty-six walleyes were fatally injured during the attack. A couple juvenile walleyes were allowed to leave the area without harm.
Suspect vehicle was described as an extremely large, 2 story floating home, yellow exterior on the first floor, white exterior second story, moving at about 2.2 kts. Vehicle most likely operated by a madman who clearly doesn't give a s**t, while the accomplices committed the heinous acts of violence on innocent walleye.
If you see any of these suspects, approach calmly and slowly!!! It is best to do this while offering some food or alcohol, preferably vodka.
Suspects are most likely armed with #40 Big Fish Tuff Tackle Co. Tru-Trip divers and single hook spoons. Use extreme caution if approaching with 60 to 75 feet, as that appeared to be the most hazardous zone in which the massacre occurred.
Remember -- the suspected operator is considered unpredictable, with complete disregard for walleye safety!!!
