EscapingNY

11/05/2023

My latest for AARP is about the painful process of transitioning my mother from the hospital to rehab and then to a permanent memory care facility. Many of you have written to ask how she's doing. This is how she's doing - not well, but she's in the best possible place we could find and afford that had an opening. If you or someone you know are in a similar situation, please read this article. Nothing can fully prepare you for such a difficult and painful process, but my sister and I encountered many challenges along the way (care has been inconsistent and low-quality), so I lay it all out in this article so others know what to expect and how to deal with potential problems and roadblocks.

Be prepared to deal with unexpected challenges

04/25/2023

My latest for AARP is about how a grant from the Alzheimer's Association allowed my sister and me to finally take a break from and take a vacation together.

Funds may be available for respite care, adult day care and even some home modifications

04/24/2023

April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month. Here’s my family’s story.

My mom began developing symptoms 10 years ago but after a series of falls 3 years ago, her mobility was significantly and permanently impaired. Overnight, my sister and I became caregivers. Parkinson’s doesn’t just make your hands shake, it attacks all the muscles in your body, including those used to speak, chew, swallow, walk, stand, write, pick things up, etc. It slowly takes over & destroys your life.

My mom met my dad (who died of a heart attack when I was 8) in music school so music and song were always present. My mom was a trained pianist, church choir director & school musical coordinator. She can no longer play. Last year, we sold her baby grand piano to pay for her care. She had the loudest, most beautiful voice in church and was recruited to sing for weddings/funerals yet she can no longer sing & speaks in a stuttered, monotone whisper.

She was a Mensa president and now struggles thru simple conversations. She organized monthly Mensa games parties but now gets confused by Go Fish. She biked, jogged & danced but now uses a wheelchair. She was an accountant who hasn’t been able to handle her own taxes or finances for years.

She needs help getting up, dressing, showering & moving around. On bad days, she needs help eating, drinking & taking meds. Two years ago, she developed Parkinson’s-related dementia and began experiencing hallucinations. They now happen every day, all day. Some visions are scary and violent but anti-psychotic meds worsen Parkinson’s movement challenges. It’s impossible to treat one without making the other worse. It’s scary and frustrating for her and thoroughly exhausting for those of us caring for her.

Watching my mom’s mental and physical health decline has been extraordinarily painful and I hope I see a cure for the disease in my life because I know she won’t. Please donate to PD research.

04/19/2023

I’ve decided to close my travel company.
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Seven years ago, I started it because I loved to travel, I learned that I was good at planning trips, and I constantly received requests from people who wanted to travel with me. Planning, organizing, and leading international tours seemed a perfect fit and, in the beginning, I loved it.
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Over the years, travel planning has become a chore, partially due to the embargo-imposed challenges and workarounds to operate in Cuba and partially due to the extreme overcrowding in Mexico during Day of the Dead, which has made operating there more expensive and frustrating. The other major issue in my life is that my sister and I share caregiving responsibilities for our mother, who suffers from dementia and advanced Parkinson's. Caring for her is the most difficult thing I've ever done and it has become an overwhelming, all consuming chore. My sister and I feel like we have lost our lives to the task and we struggle with our own happiness so, at this point, I have zero interest in being responsible for anyone else's happiness.
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I've become friends with some of my travelers, several of which have joined me on all of my trips in Mexico, Cuba, and Jordan, and who have indicated they would travel anywhere with me. I don't see myself having the energy or interest to return to what I've been doing any time soon so I plan to focus on my writing career.
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If I ever do return to travel planning, which I can't imagine doing for at least a year or two, I'll let you know. Even at that point, I'll likely only offer sporadic tours to places I haven't been a million times and that still feel exciting to me, like Madeira, Portugal, or Colombia, Ecuador, or El Salvador. I'll also likely only make those trips available to previous clients so the experience is easier for me.
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Later, folks!

04/19/2023

Here's why I'm closing my travel company indefinitely

I'm writing today with bittersweet news. Seven years ago, I started a travel company because I loved to travel, I learned that I was good at planning trips, and I constantly received requests from people who wanted to travel with me. Planning, organizing, and leading international tours seemed a per...

03/21/2023

Shout out to Renee Bruns, who said “I just feel like I can conquer the world now...it’s such a cool feeling to say, ‘Oh my God, I went to Bali by myself.’ And once you do that, you can’t take it back. You have that forever.”

Renee Bruns is on a mission to see the world, inspire kids, and earn a Guinness World Record — and she’s doing it all from her wheelchair.

01/02/2023

Personally, I think the $80 annual National Parks Pass is a STEAL but if it's not in your budget, here are some free days you can visit this year.

On certain days each year, the National Park Service offers free admission to all national parks.

12/06/2022

Here's a great piece written by the founder of Green Book Global, the first black travel review site dedicated to helping black travelers confidently explore the world by sharing travel tips and experiences from the black perspective.

From Barbados and Medellin to Florence and Zanzibar, these destinations are welcoming to travelers of color and offer a wealth of cultural experiences.

11/17/2022

I'm sad to announce that I will not lead anymore Mexico City Day of the Dead trips & here's why.

Aside from the tremendous responsibility of caring for an elderly parent with Parkinson's & dementia, and the challenge of fitting in Mexico alongside other trips I have for writing assignments, I just think Mexico City (CDMX) has become way too crowded, complicated, & busy and I'm just not interested in the trip anymore.

Mexico City remains my favorite city in the world & I recommend that everyone go there and I do understand the appeal to visit during . However, it has become massively overcrowded which has had a significant negative impact on the travel experience.

Ever since the city began holding multiple massive parades (which started from a scene in a James Bond movie - this hasn't been going on for generations), EVERYONE wants to come here. I've seen cemeteries so crowded that people walk on graves so they don't trip over themselves. A few years ago, I had a couple people nearly have panic attacks from the crowds, which is why I switched the cemetery visit to the daytime.

CDMX also holds the huge Formula 1 races at the same time so hotels are overbooked. This raise prices & results in hotels making mistakes like not honoring room reservations, not including breakfasts, and sending people to rooms that haven't been cleaned yet. Who has to clean up these messes and resolve problems? Me.

Traffic is OUT OF CONTROL and is worsened by street closures during parades. Airport taxi wait times were about 90 minutes & I had two travelers stuck in a taxi for 3 HOURS to go a few miles to their hotel.

My group had a fun trip and I'm certain they had a better experience with me than they would've alone. It's my most popular trip & always leads to repeat clients but I just don't want or need this stress in my life so I will not be holding the trip again.

11/03/2022

A handful of pics from our day trip to Mixquic for . We toured the streets and cemetery and were invited into the homes of local families to see altars made for departed loved ones. Several women had their faces painted and were even interviewed by a local news station about their trip.

11/01/2022

Hello from , the 3rd largest pyramid in the world, where my group is touring ruins, having lunch at the home of a local family, and learning about the ancient art and craftsmanship that they still continue today.