01/30/2026
🇺🇸 “Today, I received one of the hardest phone calls I’ve had in more than a decade. After a lifetime of losing friends to HIV and AIDS — after years of feeling numb to death because of how much loss I’ve already lived through — today reminded me that my heart can still break. And it broke for a man who saved my life, shaped my purpose, and changed thousands of lives across this country. Today, I learned that my dear friend, mentor, and hero, Butch McKay, passed away in his sleep.
I want to thank Doug Bunnel for calling me and delivering news no one ever wants to hear. I’ve had many people come and go in my life, and over time I began to wonder if I was even capable of feeling that deep, soul‑shaking pain again. But the moment I heard Butch’s name, everything inside me shattered. Because this wasn’t just anyone. This was the man whose vision, compassion, and love saved my life back in 2003.
Just recently, I recorded a video celebrating his four decades of service to people living with HIV and AIDS — a journey that began with a promise he made to his partner who had passed away. Butch kept that promise every single day of his life. He never stopped helping people. He never stopped lifting others up. He never stopped believing in the power of hope.
Butch founded AIDS Okaloosa and created the Positive Living Conference, which celebrated its 27th year last year. That conference transformed lives. It gave meaning, purpose, and hope to thousands of people across this nation. And Butch did all of this as a man who never contracted HIV himself — yet he loved, supported, and fought for people living with HIV and AIDS with a devotion that can only be described as sacred.
I don’t think people fully understand the magnitude of this loss. Butch touched thousands of lives. He gave hope to the hopeless. He loved those who felt unloved. He reminded us that we were worthy, that we were needed, that we still had purpose. His ministry — because that’s what it was — changed communities all across America. Many of us are alive today because he cared enough to reach into our darkness and pull us back into the light.
As I write this, tears are pouring down my face, and I will let them fall because he deserves every one of them. Butch was one in a billion. There will never be another like him. And I will carry his name, his lessons, and his love with me for the rest of my life.
ColGay Pride and the Debra Smith Wellness Center exist because Butch lifted me up when I had nothing left. His saving grace, his mission, and his belief in us are the foundation of everything we do. We owe him more than words can ever express.
In the coming days, I will be organizing a candlelight memorial in his honor. And I invite every community, every civic leader, every advocate, and every person who knew Butch to do the same. Let’s choose a coordinated date and time so that across this nation, we stand together in unity, gratitude, and love. Let’s lift his name high so he can feel the warmth of our remembrance in his new home — his well‑earned mansion in the sky.
Butch would be the first to say he wasn’t a saint, but to me — and to thousands of others — he absolutely was. He showed us we were not alone. He gave us purpose. He gave us hope. And he taught us to pass that hope forward.
I pray he is now reunited with the man he made that sacred promise to. I pray he feels the love pouring from every corner of this country today. And I pray he continues to guide our hands and our voices as we carry his work forward.
Today, a nation mourns a great man — one of the greatest visionaries of our time. Rest in peace, my dearest friend. The future is now in our hands, and we will honor you by continuing the work you began. Thank you, Butch, for bringing us this far. We will keep going. We will keep loving. We will keep lifting others up — just as you taught us.” 📖 by Jeremy Scott Hobbs
